hello again blog

its been a long time.
there are a whole lot of life changing things in the works in my life. so i've been thinking a lot about God's plan and he works it all out. the insane complexities of perfectly orchestrating millions and millions of lives blows my mind.
i am a big fan of the tv show Fringe and one of the last episodes "the plateau" was kind of about that. they are chasing a guy whose intelligence is so advanced that he can predict how how things will happen and even cause huge chain reactions through small acts.
it reminds me of God who can do that with everyone at once. and not only does He do it but he does it "for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) how crazy is it that God does that in our lives.
another part of the guy's ability was that in order to predict he had to observe them and collect data. God doesn't even have to do that. He created us and knows us even better than we know ourselves.
God has a plan and it is a good plan and it is so good to rest in that.
a C.S. Lewis quote from twitter the other day:
"There seems no plan because it is all plan."

check out the episode on hulu

Garbage In Garbage Out

Listen to this song. Tal & Acacia - Garbage In
It is something I so often try to pretend is not true. Then I start wondering why all this garbage is overflowing out of my heart. Hmm... I wonder...
Luke 6:43-45
⁴³"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. ⁴⁴Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. ⁴⁵The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
2Corinthians 5:13-15
¹³For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. ¹⁴For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; ¹⁵and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Is God overflowing out of my heart? Or is the world overflowing out of my heart?

Bad Choices...

Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Matthew 5:11

So i had one of those moments the other day that you read stories about, where you find yourself at a decision to either do what you know is right or what the people around you would prefer. And all of the really good stories are about the times when people choose the right thing even in the face of adversity. I really wish that was my story, but i am ashamed to say that is not the case. While on a church trip a man approached us as we were leaving a gas station and in need of some gas. My first thought was of course i can come help you get some gas, but the people around me immediately began to say we need to go, we don't have time. And the moment was there. The milliseconds that it took me to turn back to him seemed like forever but in the end the pressure beat me. With what i'm sure seemed like no hesitation at all i turned back to him and said "Sorry they say we have to go." Saying it like that made me feel a little better cause it was they not me, right? But i am just as much a part of the they. The whole way home i apologized to God over and over for not entertaining one of his angels and failing the test. Why do we do this?? Why do i do this?? But thank God that i am forgiven..

live what you know

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. ¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. ¹⁶Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Philippians 3:10-16

How little do I really know of Christ? How little have I really seen of His power? How little do i really understand His resurrection? He has taught me much and shown me much, yet it is still the tip of the iceberg. The hugeness and complexity of God is ridiculous to think about. How could I, or any of us for that matter, ever really know Him fully?
But it is ok.
Paul gives us an amazing statement. "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Huge! God does not ask any more than what He has revealed to us. But He does ask that. If I really lived up to what i have seen of His power and what knowledge He has revealed to me. My life would be so much more radically consumed by Him.
God, please continue to reveal yourself to me. Though i know i don't deserve it. God, continue to help me see and understand the power and beauty of Christ's resurrection. Help me to live in light of that power and beauty.

Talk Is Cheap

²⁸"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.'

²⁹" 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

³⁰"Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go.

³¹"Which of the two did what his father wanted?"
"The first," they answered.

Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. ³²For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

This was put in my face the past few days. For a whole lot of us, though we wish we walked our talk, we are the second son. We talk a lot about God and what he wants for our lives, and we think that is doing it. If someone asked me to mow their lawn, I would say, "Yeah, sure." Then we would probably talk about when I needed to do that. Maybe what tools I needed and things I needed to watch out for. But the lawn is no closer to being mowed than when we began. Lets start actually living like Jesus instead of just talking about it. Lets be intentional about things and not just hope they happen.

An awesome song comes to mind. "Make War" by Tedashii. Check it out.

Peepin the God of the Universe

I have started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper lately and a quote really stuck out to me that really opened my eyes.

"Not to show people the all satisfying God is not to love them. To make them feel good about themselves when they were made to feel good about seeing God is like taking someone to the Alps and locking them in a room full of mirrors."

We are not called to make people feel good. God does that sometimes through us but only so that we can point to HIS awesomeness. Whenever I am no pointing to God I am not loving those people. We are crappy people and we are not made to dress up our crap. We are called to point to the only one who is not crap. The only one who really brings us joy and makes us happy (not always in the short term but always lasting happiness). In God, because of Jesus, we are able to experience the best, most amazing thing ever and so many times we get caught up looking in the mirror.
Man! If I were in the same room as Will Smith, and my friend did not interrupt my conversation about my new shoes to point him out so that i could crap my pants and go meet him. They would not be my friend....And that is only Will Smith! Just some other flesh and bones piece of crap.
How many people am I not loving? How many people am I letting look at their toes while standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon? (...which I have never been to, but am fairly certain is amazing) How many times will I check myself instead of peepin the God of the universe??

Abide

John 15:1-17

¹"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ²Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. ³You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.⁵I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. ⁷If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. ⁹Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. ¹⁰If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. ¹¹These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

¹²"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are My friends if you do what I command you. ¹⁵No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.¹⁷This I command you, that you love one another.

this passage has been in my head for several months now. although i have read and heard it approximately 273,000 times before it wasn't until a couple months ago that i really felt the depth of it. what does it really mean to abide/remain in the Lord? he put it in my face. it is like being a branch on a vine. duh, its right there. but, if you are a branch on a vine you are nothing without being connected to the vine. that is where ALL of your sustenance comes from. you rely on that connection for everything. and in abiding/remaining in that connection there is no disconnecting and re-connecting whenever i feel like it. in my face! i am a terrible branch. so much of the time i try to stay just a little connected and grow and produce fruit. but those things call for a stronger connection to the source of my sustenance. God please remind me everyday that You and You alone are the source of my life.