Bad Choices...

Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Matthew 5:11

So i had one of those moments the other day that you read stories about, where you find yourself at a decision to either do what you know is right or what the people around you would prefer. And all of the really good stories are about the times when people choose the right thing even in the face of adversity. I really wish that was my story, but i am ashamed to say that is not the case. While on a church trip a man approached us as we were leaving a gas station and in need of some gas. My first thought was of course i can come help you get some gas, but the people around me immediately began to say we need to go, we don't have time. And the moment was there. The milliseconds that it took me to turn back to him seemed like forever but in the end the pressure beat me. With what i'm sure seemed like no hesitation at all i turned back to him and said "Sorry they say we have to go." Saying it like that made me feel a little better cause it was they not me, right? But i am just as much a part of the they. The whole way home i apologized to God over and over for not entertaining one of his angels and failing the test. Why do we do this?? Why do i do this?? But thank God that i am forgiven..

live what you know

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. ¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. ¹⁶Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Philippians 3:10-16

How little do I really know of Christ? How little have I really seen of His power? How little do i really understand His resurrection? He has taught me much and shown me much, yet it is still the tip of the iceberg. The hugeness and complexity of God is ridiculous to think about. How could I, or any of us for that matter, ever really know Him fully?
But it is ok.
Paul gives us an amazing statement. "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Huge! God does not ask any more than what He has revealed to us. But He does ask that. If I really lived up to what i have seen of His power and what knowledge He has revealed to me. My life would be so much more radically consumed by Him.
God, please continue to reveal yourself to me. Though i know i don't deserve it. God, continue to help me see and understand the power and beauty of Christ's resurrection. Help me to live in light of that power and beauty.